Crazy Girl

I'm a person who is naturally wired to raise boys. My son makes sense to me. He and I speak the same language. I always wanted to have a girl also, but the idea also scared me.  Well, then Eden came along, and broke every preconceived idea I had about having a daughter.

She is the perfect little girl. And by perfect, I mean that before her first birthday she knocked out a tooth, she wears clunky boy's boots with a pink fluffy skirt, laughs when boys throw rocks at her, and is the world's best cuddler. She is already tall and slim for her age, has porcelain skin and looks like a small angel. In contrast, her laugh sounds like a witch's cackle, her smile has a hint of crazy in it (which is aided by the missing tooth), and she has wispy hair that flies in every direction.

She has a vivid imagination. Recently I was sitting on the couch and she came running up to me in a dramatic frenzy. She scrambled into my lap, tucked her feet in, and said in a mock terrified voice, "Quick, there's an alligator over there.... so kill it with a tissue!"

One morning this winter, she wanted to wear her hot pink, sparkly dress-up shoes to go out and play in the snow. She was adamant and did not give up easily. Finally, she put on her snow boots with not a little attitude. When we came back inside, she clasped her pink sparkly shoes to her chest, and started talking to them, asking them if they were good while she was gone.

Eden has probably caused me more gray hairs than her brother and father combined. In the year between 18 months and 2 1/2, I experienced more adrenaline rushes than a professional stuntman. And I swear that gray hairs come from adrenaline that you don't use. Eden had a knack for trying to kill herself. Saving her from imminent death was a part of my daily routine. My mother in-law prayed earnestly every day that Eden would make it to the age of 2. Once that was reached, she started praying for age 3. Finally, we made it to her 3rd birthday, and she is beginning to show signs of a self-preservation instinct.

Along with giving me a lot of adrenaline to burn off, Eden also adds color and humor to my life. It is a good thing I enjoy humor so much, otherwise I would be embarrassed often. Like when we were at a baby shower a couple months ago...

Let me begin this little story by saying that early on, my husband and I determined that we were going to be very scientific and matter of fact with our kids about their bodies. We were not going to use euphemisms for private areas. We wanted our kids to be comfortable with their bodies and to be properly educated. Unfortunately, kids learn the word "penis" long before they learn that there is a time and place where it is appropriate to discuss said body part. Eden had no concept that a baby shower is not the time or place. So, while my face flushed bright, Eden went on and on, explaining to everyone at our table that boys wear penises and girls don't. "Daddy and Micah are boys, so they wear penises. But Mommy and I are girls, and we don't wear penises. Just boys do. Except Santa, he's a boy, but I don't think he wears a penis."

...It is difficult to get your two year old to be quiet, when the only thing controlling your laughter is a tightly closed mouth.

Just the other day, Eden came running across the house, stopped short and kicked a ball that was sitting on the floor. The ball sailed through the air and smacked the wall just above our computer screen. Alex looked at Eden very sternly, and said in his most parental voice, "Eden, we do not kick in the house!"

Eden responded very dramatically, "Well!... I was playin' FOOTball!"

Alex asked, "American? or European?"

So, Eden spread her legs, bent her knees, and craned her head down to look between her legs. She straightened up, and looked at Alex indignantly, then yelled "I'm not peein'!"