"Lick my tongue Dad!"


I am learning that a crude sense of humor may not necessarily be learned, but can also be genetic. Eden, my 3 year old daughter, has every ounce of her father's appreciation for rude humor. And we have been pretty careful to not teach her any of it.

She is fascinated with certain body parts as was mentioned earlier in this blog. She likes to add the word butt to other words, and then laugh hysterically. She does these things to entertain herself, not to get a reaction out of other people. When she was "cleaning" her room one day, Alex looked in to see how it was going. She was pulling things out of her drawer, singing, "Naked Butt, Naked Butt, NAY-ked... BUUUUUTT!"

One day we made the mistake of laughing when she pulled her pants down, stuck her butt in her brother's face and started chanting, "Booh-ut, booh-ut, booh-ut..." In our defense, it was hilarious, unfortunately she thought so too, and many serious conversations about privacy have followed.

A few weeks ago, I took all 3 children to the doctor for flu shots. When I mentioned it to Alex later that day, he asked, "Oh, how was that?" I responded, "Well, Eden will be the talk at several dinner tables tonight."
In addition to showing off her red cowgirl boots to everyone she saw and correcting everyone who called them cowBOY boots, she raised quite a few eyebrows with her inappropriate outbursts. When showing a nurse the aforementioned boots, she added, "AND, I'm wearing Tangled panties! ...but I can't show you, because 'No one wants to see that!''
And the grand finale was when she was showing her toy to the doctor. This toy is one of those noise sticks that makes sound when you turn it up and down. This particular stick was giraffe print with a giraffe head affixed to the top. Showing it off to the doctor, she held it up and said, "See it's a giraffe, but when you hang it upside down like this... (holding it down, crinkling her nose and wagging her head from side to side) It looks like a penis!"

This past weekend some good friends of ours got married. It is the first time we decided it was worth it to bring our children to a wedding. It was a Catholic service and those are usually lengthy, so I came prepared with coloring books and other quiet entertainments. The kids were overall very well behaved. The baby slept. My oldest fidgeted constantly, but did not make a sound. Eden, though, sat nice and still and talked through the whole thing. As each bridesmaid came down the aisle, Eden quietly exclaimed, "Oh, a princess! Is she going to dance?" Each time, I explained that the dancing would be later at the reception. Then the bride came down, and for the rest of the ceremony, interspersed with her incessant questions and exclamations, Eden asked, "Is she going to dance now?"
I did a reading in the wedding, and as soon as I spoke into the microphone, she turned around to everyone behind her and announced, "THAT'S my mom!"
Then, about half way through the service they had us stand and bless the people around us. The woman behind me grabbed my hand, chuckling with tears in her eyes and said, "I just have to tell you, your daughter is adorable!"
But, as always with Eden, there was a grand finale. During the final prayer, she was quietly talking (as she had been through the entire service), and Alex put his finger to his lips to indicate that she should be silent. So, she stuck her tongue out at him, which triggered in her little brain a brilliant idea. With tongue out, she thunderously whispered, "Dathee, thtick your tongue out! Touchth your tongue to mine! Thouchth my tongue! LICK my thongue, Dad!" Alex lost it, and in order to keep from laughing convulsively, plopped Eden in his Dad's lap and hung over the pew, looking the other way.

Eden is not all crazy though. After dancing for a while at the wedding reception, she kept snuggling her head into my neck asking, "Can you please take me somewhere quiet?" I think that is what makes her inappropriate humor so charming to us. We have this sweet little girl, who likes to snuggle, read books, play quietly with dolls... and make crude jokes.

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