Micah Man


My son has a cardboard fetish.

I can't tell you how many times he has come up to me carrying an empty cardboard container with a hungry look in his eyes, and asked, “Mom... Can I have this?” His room is a sea of diaper boxes, shoe boxes, and other random boxes. He does not just hoard them. He builds with them, using in his words, “good, strong tape.”

I did not start labeling this a fetish until one night, after the kids were asleep in their beds (or so I thought), and I went to the bathroom. Once past the point of no return on the toilet, I looked over and noticed that there was no toilet paper. Now this happens often. I should have bought stock in toilet paper before Eden started potty training. You would think I would learn to look before committing myself to the toilet... Oh well. Anyway, when I noticed that the toilet paper was used up, I called out to Alex my predicament. And I heard a little voice from Micah's room. “Mom? You know that round cardboard thing... Could you put it to the side for me to have in the morning?”

Micah has had many fetishes in his 4 years, and they only last a few months. Most people who know him remember his blue boots. When he was 3, he had these blue rain boots. He wore them everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Finally, I determined that letting him sleep in them was going too far. These boots had little handles for toddler hands to pull them on (wonderful feature, allowing him to dress himself). While I yanked on the boots attempting to get them off, his pudgy little hands had a death grip on those handles, and he screamed as though I was molesting him. The battle ended with the boots off, and me allowing him to sleep with them by his pillow. Later that night, I came in to check on him, and he was fast asleep, hugging his boots to his chest.

He also is very attached to his stuffed animals. He likes to bring them everywhere. We tried limiting him to bringing one “friend” with him when we go somewhere, but they are organized into family groups, and bringing one was apparently preposterous. So he has a tote bag, and every time we are leaving, I give him the bag and tell him he can bring as many friends as he can carry in the bag.

Like the rest of our family, Micah struggles with an overdeveloped sense of fun, and gets into all sorts of trouble. But he is also our rational thinking. I can get him to eat anything by explaining to him the nutritional qualities and what they will do for his body. Recently he asked me to explain electricity to him. I started off with a very dumbed-down concept. But as he kept asking questions, I started to draw a blank, and realized how shallow my own concept of it is. Finally, after several pathetic answers to his questions, Micah sighed and said, “Nevermind. I'll wait til Daddy gets home.” I should not have been surprised a couple weeks later, when Micah explained to me that men are smarter than women.

I am planning on home schooling this child. I guess I should start studying now.

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